Top Ten Tuesday: Favourite Book Quotes

It’s been a while, but this week’s Top Ten Tuesday prompt (now hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl) is favourite book quotes, and I couldn’t resist. Here are a few of my all-time favourites!

1. “I have time,” the skull replied reflectively. “It’s really not so good to have time. Rush, scramble, desperation, this missed, that left behind, those others too big to fit into such a small space– that’s the way life was meant to be. You’re supposed to be too late for some things. Don’t worry about it.”

― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

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2017 In Hindsight; 2018 looking forward

Banner Photo by Kristopher Roller via Unsplash

Content warning: Discussion of suicide, pregnancy loss, and mental health.

2017 started with a suicide in my husband’s immediate family followed by a miscarriage. Grief left me feeling wrong-footed and cotton-mouthed; I managed to talk about the latter but remain tongue-tied by the former.

(Where would I start? We were never close. His death revealed decades of abuse and years of deteriorating health. A lot of what I felt – still feel – is ugly and raw and flies in the face of loved ones who have a balance of more good memories than bad. It’s taken a year to come to terms with these feelings and with myself as someone capable of feeling that way.)

There are plenty of happy memories; it wasn’t an entire year of doom and gloom. With everything underpinned by these two events, however, a lot of my memories are emotionally dissonant:

Long nights spent with grieving relatives, surrounded by flowers and condolences and tears, while Olivia and her cousin played and startled laughs out of everyone present.

Welcoming a new nephew less than a week after actively miscarrying.

Drifting through holidays like a bad dream, dodging the inevitable well-meaning but nonetheless invasive questions.

Wishing happy birthday to my grandma-in-law who, for one horrible night in January, didn’t think she would live to see another birthday.

It’s laughable to think that the year also ended on a low note – a household case of the flu – but getting sick turned out to be 2017’s parting sucker punch. All’s well and good while you’re busy and focused on the future! Until you find yourself couch-bound with nothing but time to reflect on a year’s worth of things you tried very hard to think and talk around instead of about.

In a way, though, I think this was the best possible ending to the year, despite starting the new year both physically and emotionally raw. Goodbye and good riddance to 2017. 2018 won’t be a clean slate, but I’m in a better place to make peace with the bad and choose the good going forward.

Our Newest Plus-One

Before the holidays hit and whisk away the remainder of the year:

We’re expecting a baby boy in May 2018!

I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant. Halfway through is longer than we initially planned to wait to make this announcement! However, while this has been a standard pregnancy physically, it has not been an easy process mentally due to our earlier loss. It wasn’t until we saw a healthy baby at our anatomy scan that I felt ready to spread the news outside of immediate family.

Looking forward to our family of three becoming a family of four in the new year!

Month In Review – November 2017

Two weeks into December already? How? Why.*

* Nothing against December or the passage of time; the why is mostly directed at the blanket of snow on our lawn this morning, but also at myself for feeling betrayed and surprised that it dared to snow last night, here, where the seasons are winter and not-winter.

  • FINISHED READING: At long last The Amazons: Lives and Legends of Warrior Women Across the Ancient World (Adrienne Mayor) has been crossed off the list. I also finished Deathless (Catherynne M. Valente), took a brief break from the challenge to read My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness (Kabi Nagata), then got back to it with The Virgin Cure (Ami McKay).
  • CURRENTLY READING: Off to a slow start with Kameron Hurley’s The Mirror Empire. It’s been a while since my last high fantasy and this one in particular is heavy on initial world-building.
  • TELEVISION: I watch fuck-all these days, aside from an episode or two of Brooklyn Nine-Nine while washing dishes or cooking, or the occasional short documentary. My television habits run from “slow crawl” to “nothing”.
101 in 1001
  • READ 1001 BOOKS TO OLIVIA. Ongoing list here. From July to November we officially passed the 10% – or 101 unique books – mark! Given that there’s a lot of unaccounted-for rereading (we typically read library books a few times apiece) we’re doing good.
  • TRY A ROOM ESCAPE GAME. Crossed this off the list with a fun and slightly late date night for my birthday. We chose a great location themed around the Canadian gold rush, and our group of five killed it despite only having one person in our group with escape room experience. Very fun, will definitely go again!
  • ORGANIZE OUR STORAGE ROOM. Alias: The room where 90% of our “missing” things go to hide. There are adjustments I’d like to make in the long-term, but for now there’s clear floor space, a sense of overall organization, and several bags of donateables.

• I TURNED 29 and celebrated in my preferred low-key way: dinner with family on the actual day, followed a few days later by escape room, dinner out, and a few rounds of board games before passing out in the rocking chair with a cranky toddler.

• INKTOBER 2017. Technically an October achievement that I worked on into November to round off at 22/31 completed days. Many pages have crayon scribbles or stickers but it felt good to draw something just for me again.

• BIG NEWS? How dare you end this entry on a cliffhanger, dear blogger. I do, in fact, have some exciting news to share, but in a separate entry.

101 in 1001: An Introduction Post

It feels silly to write an introduction post for a challenge I’ve been working on for six months. I’m still going to write it, just, you know, with a side-eye at my own blogging laziness.

What is 101 in 1001? Basically the challenge, as popularized by Day Zero Project, is to complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days. There are no strict rules aside from the number of items on the list, but I typically go for a mix of short- and long-term goals with fun one-off ideas.

I made my first list in 2010 and finished 50 of 101 goals. Since then none of my lists have been that successful or lasted for the full 2.75 years, due to changing life circumstances and priorities, but it seemed like a good time to try again now that I’m a little more settled.

See my full list here along with a more detailed breakdown of the idea behind the challenge. Let me know if you’re also doing the challenge; it’s always fun to see other lists!